Depression, Anxiety, Etc..

I’M SORRY!!!

     I know many people don't know what it's like to be trapped inside yourself, scared of the outside world for no reason, can't get up - and you're only reason for not being able to is... "I just can't."

     Many people can't understand why people with mental disorders don't just get over it, grow up, be an adult, deal with it. I wish I could explain to someone what it feels like to be alone (physically). No one would understand.

     I thought one person understood what it was like to have these hard to deal with disorders, but I was wrong. That person doesn't. They never will because they’ve never had any long term mental health problems.

It broke my heart...

Why can't I be the wife I want to be?
Why can't my children have a REAL mother?
Why have I done nothing but sit/lay on the couch all day for the past few years?
Why don't I cook for my family anymore?
Why don't I want to have girl nights with my friends?
Do I even have real friends? Or are they just attracted to my weaknesses?
Why does crossing the threshold of the outside doors to check the mail frighten me?
Why do I think I deserve respect?
Why everything or anything?

I’m so depressed, anxious, lonely and an emotional wreck...

I'm sorry.

Please keep loving me!!